In the final part of this blog series on some of the challenges men and women face in relationships, we will discuss the topic of sexuality and how our bodies operate sexually.
Another key to mutual understanding between partners is knowing how differently we operate in terms of sexuality. Men and women can both find similarities and “activate their natural potencies” by focusing on their pelvises. This is an area of the body that both genders can identify as their sexual cores. It’s where we generate life-force energy. For men specifically, the testicles, and for women, the womb.
Activating and amplifying this life-force energy can be as simple focusing your attention in the sexual core. An effective exercise to hone in on this area is to breathe deeply and imagine your pelvic region glowing, attempting to increase the natural energy we have flowing throughout our bodies. Both men and women can also perform Kegel exercises to increase this energy. These exercises, also known as pelvic floor muscle training (PFMT), target the muscles of the pelvic floor, or the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles. You can feel these muscles working much like you would when stopping urination mid-stream. Clenching and releasing can elevate your energetic potency.
The sexual anatomy of men and women has important differences that, when understood, can support greater pleasure. There is no denying that from a biological standpoint we look different, but one of the greatest differences, perhaps, could be the different paths we take toward sexual arousal. I have found that men are often confused about their female counterparts’ paths of sexual arousal due to the myth that the process of arousal is the same for both sexes; one that is quickly and eagerly reached. Even women can sometimes think this is how it should be, which leads to confusion and miscommunication from both parties’ perspectives.
Going back to the biological makeup of men and women, arousal can actually be traced back to this. Like men, women also have erectile tissue, though it is internal. Women’s erectile tissue typically takes much longer to activate. Consequently, the average sexual encounter (one lasting anywhere from 5-10 minutes) may not be very pleasurable for a woman or allow her to reach full satisfaction. Because of this, it is vital for a man to understand how differently his female partner’s body works in order for him to be a great lover.
Remember, sex should be a marathon, not a sprint. Similarly to how women must give men time to process their thoughts, men should understand that women need time to reach full arousal. While it can be hard, it’s important for men to slow things way down if they want to really satisfy their lover. It can’t be all about you if you want your beloved to experience you as a great lover. Us men should be confident in our masculinity, so much so that we are able to put our primal sexual drive and need for speed aside and ensure our beloveds are deeply sexually satisfied as well – bringing you both years of passion and bliss in the bedroom.