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Intimacy plays a big role in a relationship. It’s one of the things that can set your partner apart from the rest of the world. When you connect deeply from a place of love, your intimate relationship thrives and comes alive and attraction naturally builds. If you aren’t attracted to your partner, physically or emotionally, the intimacy portion of your relationship can really be a struggle. There are several factors that can contribute to the loss of this attraction, and there are also multiple ways to address the problem.

Understanding the conundrum 

In the beginning, most couples have an almost-instant attraction that leads to passionate moments with one another. The biochemicals of attraction are naturally flowing. These biochemicals flood us with love and desire. That stage may not last forever, though. It’s natural that, over time, the honeymoon phase dissipates and is replaced by comfort and familiarity.

Truth be told relationships take energy, time and patience. Maintaining attraction and intimacy are crucial factors is romantic partnerships. 

While being comfortable with your partner furthers emotional intimacy, if you become too comfortable, it can greatly impact physical intimacy and attraction. When determining why your physical attraction to your partner has waned, consider whether or not it’s because that initial passion has fizzled out and has been replaced by the ordinary.

It’s also a good idea to think back to when the attraction first started to fade. Was there something significant that occurred around that time, such as the birth of a baby or the death of a family member? If the loss of attraction can be  directly related to a major life event, the feelings surrounding that event need to be addressed before the attraction to your partner can be recovered. Other times the biochemicals need to be evoked through principles and practices like Tantra for example.  

Largely, passion and attraction are a result of keeping your relationship polarized. That means the man in the relationship is well-connected to his masculine (outgoing) energy which he will feel most palpably in his testicles, while the woman in the relationship is well-connected to her feminine (receptive) energy which she will feel most palpably in her womb-space. When both parties are at home in their bodies and anchored in their pelvises, the natural attraction that is available at the beginning of the relationship will be nurtured and grow over time rather than petering out.

How to Create More Attraction

One easy way to get the energy of attraction flowing between you is by facing each other and doing a two simple breathing exercises. These exercises will go a long way toward priming the energy pump and allowing your bodies to feel and respond to each other energetically, physically, and sexually. 

Exercise #1 – Synchronized Connected Breathing: 

Connected breathing simply means that your inhalations are connected with your exhalations without pausing. This creates a continuous flow of energy in and out with the breath. When we take deep, slow breaths with at least ten seconds on the inhalation and ten seconds on the exhalation, the breath is connected, meaning there’s no hesitations. It usually it takes five to ten breaths in order to bring you fully into the present moment and feeling pretty good. 

To boost your levels of attraction sit opposite your partner. It works best if you are on the bed or the floor with your legs stretched out and the woman puts her legs on top of the man’s. She can even move closer and actually sit on his lap. The woman can then wrap her legs around him and if possible bringing her feet together to complete the circuit. Next begin breathing in connected breaths together. Breathing in and breathing out together.  When you synchronize your breath with another you create an energetic connection that holds its own frequency allowing you to tune into each other on a much deeper level. Looking softly into each others’ eyes will further enhance this connection. By creating heightened states while eye gazing you build a neuro-association that will eventually allow heightened states to happen just by looking at each other. 

Exercise #2 – Reciprocal Breathing: 

Once you have done a number of connected breaths, you can move into reciprocal breathing. In reciprocal breathing, one person exhales while the other inhales. This creates a circular movement flowing from the woman’s heart into the man’s heart then from the man’s pelvis to the woman’s pelvis. Begin gently and work up to deeper breaths. Visualize the energy moving out of your body and into your partner when you exhale. Visualize receiving your partner’s breath when you inhale. 

When a couple finds themselves in a state of disharmony, doing a few connected breaths followed by several reciprocal breaths can bring them back into harmony and passion. This is also a great way to get sexual energy to flow between you and your beloved. But don’t rush things. If breathing is all your beloved wants for now, let it be enough. If you do this regularly, it will yield results. In more advanced reciprocal breathing you literally breath into each others’ mouths. Once the energy builds enough you will feel drawn to start kissing and stroking each other. Then just follow where your bodies want to go.